I had a very hard and long week; crashed my car in the process of it all but hey! it could have been worse, how was your week?...
Yoruba would say "shina (sheenor)" word synonymous with philandering, i'd rather shenanigans. the moment we talk about philandering automatically the world thinks it's the guy, well is it!?
A lot of troubled homes and relationships out there, I stopped over at dear friends place and all we talked about were sad stories of him/she cheating, and in the dark clouds there were silver linings of happily ever after as some found love, but in other places; so they think but hey! who died and made me judge... even my gay friends have a complaint or two, and i'm wondering where the world is going to..
I love and enjoy sex, hell yea I do, and my partner better have her groove on as well, but I don't do casual sex...Id love to see you in the red heels without your clothes; preferably red and 6 inches high, ....mmm
while my dear friend and I spoke, I ate and had cafe cognac and thought; what is life about; we grow, graduate, get employed , get married or live-in, have sex, complain about our sex, find alternatives which range from subtle to bizarre; self love, vibrator, new partner, turn gay or celibacy.. while we spoke I scoured the net, and came across mumsaloud.com the topics I saw all were shades and allusions to what i'd known, and heard from every crevice of life, seems the house is crumbling; poor communication above all, ego- not sure which should come first though, poor sex..oops! I meant no sex, complaints that we cum and go, so the women are pained, and the men remain irresolute in their seeming defiance. By the way, why cant't some men stay awake after cum?
I wasn't sure where to start with this piece, I was and still am torn, don't want to come across chauvinistic or biased.. whats do people want really?; happy homes at what cost? happy lives? did you say they are one and the same? why is life or does relationships have to be so complicated I ask myself; heterosexual relationships are complicated, I shudder to think what being gay is like..
we individually have our quirks and dysfunctions from our nurture however, as adults, we should be able to work through these, and understand that if it can't be fixed, we should move on along and remain friends, after all it all started out in friendship, we shouldn't lose the friendship if we can help it.
I have heard of women who have slit wrists, guys who have committed manslaughter, suicides, and I wonder, why not just walk away, then I quickly realize as beings, we may not have been prepared to manage such situations.
Guys beating up women they once loved or still love but feel the need to smack em back in line, damn! I smack my gal too, when I'm in the throes of passion, I only ensure I don't damage the package..
She realized it was enough, so she became docile and quiet, found succor in his best friend, and they all lived happily ever after; he found peace she found love.
We each make mistakes; why did I ever marry? Marriage is a beautiful thing, our differences should ideally be our strength, however we are locked in mental battles and emotional struggles. I love my girl friend, and I try to keep it simple so we don't get things twisted, I keep it simple and try to explain when I'm misunderstood, I love my woman deep and feisty, a ponderer, I prefer to remain cerebral.
Do we let the physical take away our deeper needs? how are we managing our expectations of our partner or would be one... I am a strong believer in the fact that African women are better nurtured than their male counterparts; reason the problem mostly seem to be attributable to the guy.
In boy, girl relationship, we seem to have perfect communication lines till we get married, so why does marriage come and change things? if you had a chance to make a change, what would you change? I listen as I write- a collabo Sergio Mendez and Jill Scott" let me", amazing how many lines and lyrics, poems and Odes have been written to, and about women loved and lost, in all my musings I guess I will revert to the teachings of the 'Prophet' by Khalil Gibran on marriage, may be on my next sojourn, I shall get it right better...
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
Yoruba would say "shina (sheenor)" word synonymous with philandering, i'd rather shenanigans. the moment we talk about philandering automatically the world thinks it's the guy, well is it!?
A lot of troubled homes and relationships out there, I stopped over at dear friends place and all we talked about were sad stories of him/she cheating, and in the dark clouds there were silver linings of happily ever after as some found love, but in other places; so they think but hey! who died and made me judge... even my gay friends have a complaint or two, and i'm wondering where the world is going to..
I love and enjoy sex, hell yea I do, and my partner better have her groove on as well, but I don't do casual sex...Id love to see you in the red heels without your clothes; preferably red and 6 inches high, ....mmm
while my dear friend and I spoke, I ate and had cafe cognac and thought; what is life about; we grow, graduate, get employed , get married or live-in, have sex, complain about our sex, find alternatives which range from subtle to bizarre; self love, vibrator, new partner, turn gay or celibacy.. while we spoke I scoured the net, and came across mumsaloud.com the topics I saw all were shades and allusions to what i'd known, and heard from every crevice of life, seems the house is crumbling; poor communication above all, ego- not sure which should come first though, poor sex..oops! I meant no sex, complaints that we cum and go, so the women are pained, and the men remain irresolute in their seeming defiance. By the way, why cant't some men stay awake after cum?
I wasn't sure where to start with this piece, I was and still am torn, don't want to come across chauvinistic or biased.. whats do people want really?; happy homes at what cost? happy lives? did you say they are one and the same? why is life or does relationships have to be so complicated I ask myself; heterosexual relationships are complicated, I shudder to think what being gay is like..
we individually have our quirks and dysfunctions from our nurture however, as adults, we should be able to work through these, and understand that if it can't be fixed, we should move on along and remain friends, after all it all started out in friendship, we shouldn't lose the friendship if we can help it.
I have heard of women who have slit wrists, guys who have committed manslaughter, suicides, and I wonder, why not just walk away, then I quickly realize as beings, we may not have been prepared to manage such situations.
Guys beating up women they once loved or still love but feel the need to smack em back in line, damn! I smack my gal too, when I'm in the throes of passion, I only ensure I don't damage the package..
She realized it was enough, so she became docile and quiet, found succor in his best friend, and they all lived happily ever after; he found peace she found love.
We each make mistakes; why did I ever marry? Marriage is a beautiful thing, our differences should ideally be our strength, however we are locked in mental battles and emotional struggles. I love my girl friend, and I try to keep it simple so we don't get things twisted, I keep it simple and try to explain when I'm misunderstood, I love my woman deep and feisty, a ponderer, I prefer to remain cerebral.
Do we let the physical take away our deeper needs? how are we managing our expectations of our partner or would be one... I am a strong believer in the fact that African women are better nurtured than their male counterparts; reason the problem mostly seem to be attributable to the guy.
In boy, girl relationship, we seem to have perfect communication lines till we get married, so why does marriage come and change things? if you had a chance to make a change, what would you change? I listen as I write- a collabo Sergio Mendez and Jill Scott" let me", amazing how many lines and lyrics, poems and Odes have been written to, and about women loved and lost, in all my musings I guess I will revert to the teachings of the 'Prophet' by Khalil Gibran on marriage, may be on my next sojourn, I shall get it right better...
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Man mi! I've found out that men are the biggest dumb bells God created. Men are under a false assumption that “sheenor” is exclusive to men. I could write a book on the many tricks women have up their sleeves that most men are oblivious of in achieving “sheenornism”. I sometimes wonder if men that go out and cheat on their wives think these women they leave at home do not do the same. If you think they don’t, you don miss am patapata be dat!
ReplyDeleteIn regards to marriages not working with all sorts of problems, let me tell you how stupid we humans are. We buy orisirisi gadgets that come with manuals, and when we don’t understand how it works, we go to the manual. Do you know how stupid you would look if you continuously push the start button of your computer to put your TV on? That’s exactly what we do when we continuously try to make our marriages work by pushing the wrong buttons. If you want to understand how a gadget works, you go to the manufacturer’s manual. We are all God’s gadgets, and the only way we can function effectively without looking stupid is to consult God’s manual, THE BIBLE. I guarantee a successful marriage if the manual is consulted.
EFON!
I object as a human to being called stupid just because another is under a misconception.
ReplyDeleteCheating on a partner is a fine science. Now who exactly would you say is cheating here?
Single man in a long term relationship having an affair with a single woman? or vice versa? Two people in long term relationships having an affair? Married man with a single woman? Married man and a married woman? Married man and a woman in a long term relationship?
I could go on and on with the combinations..
Each relationship is as complex as it comes and the reasons just as many.
If your relationship is not working, and separating or divorcing is not an option for whatever reason.
Guaranteed each will find happiness where they can when they can, to put not only some meaning into their lives but also to make their strained relationship palatable.
Breaking up a marraige is not a decision to take lightly, I doubt anyone who marries does so for a short term. Couples grow together, and somewhere down the line they grow apart.
We each make choices on how to either seek help to fix the growing divide,or to acknowledge the yawning fact that maybe, just maybe, there's an option just like some men in the HOLY BOOK took, and that was for him to take on another partner, one then became two.
You can toss this topic back and forth till kingdom come. My grandmother's generation took all on the chin. My mother's generation we're divided on the reasons for staying in a violent and abusive marraige. My generation I believe is hopeful that lessons have been learnt and are able to give as good as they get.
To each his own, you never know where things start to degenerate, and if you do know, you need to arrest the rot before it gets past the point of no return.
@ Efon, I sense there is more unsaid than you have, even the bible as you rightly pointed out is subject to translations though the words remain constant. We are all human and fallible
ReplyDeleteEvery marriage they say have it's own battle and sometimnes you cant tell just by looking. A lot of pple have learnt how to disguise this battle, afterall who wants pple knowing the pain and hurt thet're carrying.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who is a great believer of "do me,i do you". while I completely agree that some guys can be dogs and push their wives into the same act, my question is;If he cheats with 20 different women,do you cheat with 20 different men?"(E go tire you oh)
The man wey no appreciate him woman,na anoda man go help am (shikena). Yes, it isnt only men who play that way and I completely agree with Efon's statement "I sometimes wonder if men that go out and cheat on their wives think these women they leave at home do not do the same. If you think they don’t, you don miss am patapata be dat!"(lol)It aint all women who let the fear of the counsequences keep them from straying.
@ Efon, Bless you for that addition about God's manual. After all is said and done that is the only way out oh.
very few of us this days think like our parents, now divorce is considered as a good thing once you begin to feel stifled in your marriage and the childrens feelings are no longer considered. My prayer starts now for my children and their generation. E go better!